WHY DO COUPLES TURN OFF?
Do you feel less attraction and desire?
Is sex a chore or a pressure or just "blah"?
Do you feel irritated because you're bored?
Couples turn off because they start to feel more emotionally pushed away and shut down to each other. This often happens so gradually that partners tolerate it and they slowly become used to it. Becoming "roomates", "best friends", or "pals" isn't enough to sustain an intimate relationship. Over time it erodes all the passion, fun, flirting and adult sexuality you once nourished each other with. Your relationship will be "at risk" if you and your partner settle!
Couples lose the feeling of being "lovers" because they fall into relationship patterns that they are unaware of. All they know is they feel more distant. These patterns are very different from the patterns they started off with! Sometimes this happens after children enter into the mix when their relationship changes dramatically! Sometimes it's just a slow chipping away of the feelings until they just feel turned off!
Talk therapy tries to fix the symptoms without getting to the underlying cause. Too often couples are told to date and given other quick fixes. This is a good idea but the problem is if you already feel like "roommates" then you go on dates feeling like "friends not lovers" with each other.
Roommates and best friends are not why people get married. They want to have romantic, passionate and turned on feelings. When married couples become roommates and best friends they have lost interest in each other as lovers! This can be changed and you can work together but it isn't a superficial fix or some good advice. You have to change your patterns and stop pushing each other away. Tools will help you both make these deeper changes and then you will start to feel more like lovers.